When the Cat Comes A'Callin'
by FantomoDrako
Summary: A short, slightly parody-like spin-off from my story 'Digging Deeper'. One-shot crackfic.


"…what the hell?"

The entire area looked like a hurricane had swept through. Trees were uprooted, debris of various natures was strewn all over the place and great chunks had been gouged out of the earth. A few wisps of smoke were rising from craters that dotted the land.

"I only left for a week!" Ryoga shouted out in confusion, hoping someone would explain things to him.

The Lost Boy was actually standing in the Tendo's backyard. The house was far too familiar for him to be mistaken, even with his non-existent sense of direction. Why it looked as though a war had taken place, however, was beyond him. Carefully making his way into the house, he could just make out soft sounds. Following them as best he could, he eventually found himself in front of the bathroom. The sounds were coming from within. He slid the door open and froze as panicked whisperings reached his ears.

"Did you hear that, Saotome?"

"Hear what? You mean the door? Don't be silly, Tendo, the boy wouldn't slide the door open, he'd simply tear through it!"

"Will you two please keep it down?!"

"Oh dear, I'll never have lunch ready in time!"

Growing more confused, worried and curious, Ryoga slid open the second door. Kasumi was standing next to the taps; her father kneeling down and holding a hose attachment at the ready like a gun. Genma Saotome was crouched in front of Nabiki, who was standing in the corner, holding a bucket threateningly in his hands.

As the elder pair of martial artists saw the door move, they launched their liquid weapons, aiming solely for the doorway.

Only Ryoga's ingrained reflexes saved him from the veritable deluge of doom. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he yelled angrily, having ducked behind the rest of the doorway and letting the water sail harmlessly past.

"Daddy, relax, it's only Ryoga," he heard Nabiki say.

"Oops, sorry about that, lad!" Soun Tendo chuckled nervously.

Ducking his head around the door to assure himself that he would not be attacked again, Ryoga warily stepped into the bathroom. "What are you all doing in here? Where are Ranma and Akane?"

"They could be anywhere by now," Nabiki answered with a frown. "Akane's out looking for the idiot, trying to get him to calm down."

"Calm down?" Ryoga repeated inquiringly.

Kasumi stepped forward, laying a hand on her father's shoulder. "The most adorable little two-tailed kitty wandered into the yard earlier. Of course it frightened poor Ranma. Father went to shoo it away when it suddenly caught on fire," Kasumi said in her usual cheerful tone.

"The thing must've been a demon," Genma said, taking up the story. "When the flames died down, the tiny cat had transformed into a sabre-toothed beast bigger than a tiger! My cowardly son could take no more and the Cat-Fist training took over, turning his mind into that of a cat. The two waged a great battle before the demon took to the air and flew away!" the man wailed.

"Flew away?" Ryoga repeated incredulously. "How can a cat fly?" he asked in general, not expecting an answer.

"We're not sure, but then…the worst happened!" Soun said, his eyes tearing up.

Ryoga blinked in shock. "Worse than the battle that trashed the yard?" he asked, starting to fear the answer.

"Yes. A yarn salesman happened to walk by at that point."

The Lost Boy felt like falling over in disbelief. "A yarn salesman…" he said, feeling like he was the butt of some joke.

"The boy lunged for the man like a moth to the flame. The guy stood no chance," Genma said, sitting in his 'wise' pose and nodding to himself.

"There was so much all over the place," Kasumi said with a sigh. "I wonder who's going to clean it all up. That poor man…"

As Kasumi trailed off, Ryoga's mind began supplying him with images of Ranma, ki-claws slashing wildly, tearing into the man's unprotected body. "Is-is he…o-okay?"

"The man? Of course he is! I just hope he doesn't make us pay for his entire stock of yarn that Ranma mangled or destroyed while 'playing'," Nabiki huffed in annoyance.

Ryoga sank to his knees in defeat.

* * *

**A/N:** Weird, no? I guess you must be wondering why I, who am such a serious writer, have written a...well, basically, a crackfic.

It's actually a spin-off of my Ranma 1/2, InuYasha crossover; Digging Deeper.

In chapter four, Ryoga meets Kirara, Sango's two-tailed demonic kitty. He remarks that he'd love for Kirara to meet Ranma. Hence, this was born. This isn't really how the meeting would go, but I've been in a strangely strange, not-quite-hyper, laughing-my-ass-off-at-everything-even-if-it-isn't-funny mood for the past hour or so. Something had to happen while I was like that. -shrugs-

Enjoy if you can handle it!

~FantomoDrako

(I do not own Ranma 1/2! I do, however, own a cat! He is _evil_, pure _**EVIL**_!!! His name is Kyo and he's oh so very fluffy! I loves him so much!)


End file.
